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Your Wise Inner Knowing: Decisions Informed By Fear Instead Of Controlled By Fear

Updated: Feb 23

Your wise, inner knowing. It’s in there, you have it. We all have it, although it’s not encouraged in society. It’s the most valuable well of knowledge and intelligence needed for our survival, connection with others and the earth yet most of us are totally disconnected from it and unaware it exists.


For those of us who live most of our lives feeling anxious, worrying about what-ifs, how-tos, trying to get it right, feeling bad for not achieving perfection, we have lost our connection to this inner wisdom. It has always been there but it has been overshadowed by aspects of ourselves that are trying really hard not to let anything bad happen to ourselves, our baby, or to those around us.


Ironically, in trying so hard to avoid something bad happening, we cause harm to ourselves by living in a constant state of stress. We become so preoccupied with dangers or perfection that we in-turn, become blocked from having true connection with ourselves and others and it perpetuates this negative cycle.


When we become aware that we have an inner wise space inside on which we can lean on, dip into for answers, rest in, we start to feel a spaciousness where it used to feel cloudy, chaotic and scattered. We start to feel supported and experience gratitude more often - even gratitude for the things in our lives that are incredibly challenging when it once felt awful or impossible.


Wisdom is: making decisions informed by fear instead of being controlled by fear. 


It is giving yourself the time, even for a moment, to step back and allow yourself to take a deep breath and see the bigger picture. It is feeling the fear, understanding why the fear is there - either a potential danger based on negative experiences in the past or it is an actual current danger. 


Most of the time, we (unconsciously) interpret people or things happening around us as dangerous only due to negative experiences we have had in the past instead of what is actually happening or occurring right in front of us.


We are seeing the world through the lens of negative experiences from the past and therefore are being controlled by fear. - We are projecting our past experiences onto this new person we meet or new experience we are having which in-turn taints our experience and causes us to brace ourselves, avoid the situation altogether or have a reaction that may not be appropriate to what is really going on. 


Wisdom is being able to know the lenses from which we see and interpret the world though. It is  understanding what we have experienced and how this impacts how we feel and behave.


No one is ever always wise. Even the most wise people you meet will have times and situations where they are seeing through a lens which they don’t realize they are seeing through in the moment. This is what it is to be human. 

We slip up, we make mistakes, we go in and out of being aware of the lenses we see through - and this is how we grow. 


The pain we experience from our mistakes teaches us valuable lessons for how to live life moving forward with more of a sense of inner harmony, more peacefully, successfully, with more joy and connection and it’s up to us to uncover and make these lessons conscious.


Our challenges and stuck points in life bring us our biggest opportunities for growth through making us more aware of ourselves and therefore more wise - if we’re willing to look at ourselves with honesty.




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